MISSION GROUP QUESTIONS FROM SPIRITUAL GROWTH - John 4: The women at the well
This week we started a new 9 weeks series looking at "spiritual growth." What does it mean to grow and change and experience internal transformation in our lives? And we looked at the story from John 4 of Jesus transforming a women's life to give us A Vision for Change
We live in a society that is obsessed with change, but it is usually external change. In this story we saw how none of the women’s circumstances changed but because of an internal change in her she had the power and perspective to face her situations. What brought about this change
(1) The Acceptance of Jesus.
Jesus broken down every barrier that should have separated them.
(1) She was a moral and social outcast (alone by a well at midday), society had rejected her and she was hiding from the community - but Jesus puts himself in her eed (vs7)
(2) She was a Samaritan - but Jesus puts aside the years of anger and bitterness and hatred that existed between Jews and Samaritans (cf 2 kings 17.24ff)
(3) She was a women - but Jesus breaks all the cultural norms and gives her dignity and worth.
Why is this important? Because for most people two of the biggest obstacles to change are
(a) Shame - what will people think of me? But Jesus accepts her in her mess and accepts her and loves her. He accepts her before she cleans up her act (he doesn’t even mention the husbands at this stage). Jesus’ acceptance of us will give us the power to open up other people to work through our issues.
(b) Dispair - “I have tried and failed.” This women must have given up hope for change. Yet Jesus pursues her. He initiates. She isn’t searching for him but he comes after her. This is gives us hope for change. He hasn’t given up on us. He doesn’t think change is impossible. He is coming after us (the bible is one big story of God coming after us to transform us).
(2) The living water of Jesus
Jesus does not want to condemn the women but convict her so in verse 17 he brings up the issue of her previous husbands (don’t forget, he had already accepted her - it is a gospel of grace). He wants to show her that she is thirsty but finding satisfaction in the wrong place and it is leaving her in a desert…a relational desert….and she is becoming more and more thirsty. It has become a destructive pattern in her life but that pattern is only the symptom of a deeper issue - the real issue is that she is drinking from another well - the well of approval/status/sex/affection that men give her. For Jesus to give her living water he must expose the well she is drinking from, he has to convict her, so that she can find true satisfaction in the living water he gives. For us to experience spiritual change we must not try and change the symptoms, we must change the well from which we drink, our desires need to change. If our heart doesn’t change then no amount of discipline will help us see growth. If Jesus had said “don’t hang out with men” he would not have solved the issue, he needed to expose her well and then offer her something far more satisfying so that she wouldn’t want men! So to see change we must (1) tackle the underlying issue that reveals itself in destructive patterns and (2) go to Jesus from greater satisfaction (like a kid letting go of a forbidden object for something far more satisfying. Our change is as much about the positives (finding joy in Christ) than the negatives (saying “no” to sin) - see Matthew 13.44. C.S Lewis famously said
“Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak.
We are half hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition
when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on
making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant
by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
(3) A bigger picture of Jesus
If we are not careful we can say to Jesus “I want the change….I want the satisfaction, contentment, joy, peace, freedom etc…..but I don’t want you” - “I want your living water but I don’t want you.” But Jesus is the living water (vs10, John 7.37-39). We must come to him to drink. He is the one that satisfies our thirst. What changes this women? What does Jesus give her? An encounter with himself! He becomes bigger and bigger in the story - he starts off as a tired and thirsty man sat at a well, he then becomes a rabbi and a prophet…ad at the end he is the saviour of the world (vs42). In fact, in verse 26 in the original greek, we have the first “I AM” saying referring back to Exodus 3.14. We don’t offer people a set of rules or “7 steps to growth”, we offer them a person (who we now know and experience through the Holy Spirit).How does Paul tell us transformation happens in the Christian faith? 2 Corinthians 3.18 says…
And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect/behold/gaze upon the Lord’s glory,
are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory,
which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
It is a wonderful story and gives us a fantastic vision for spiritual change. She starts hiding, ashamed, ostracised and afraid and she ends up becoming a spring of water that brings other people to know Jesus. She is not hiding, she is telling people to come and see a man who told her all her sin! WOW!
Reflection and Application
(1) What do you think are the biggest obstacles to wanting change in your life? How does this story help you?
(2) In what areas are you wanting to hide? Why?
(3) Have you given up hope on being able to change? If so where and why? How does it make you feel that Jesus is coming after you?
(4) What are the destructive patterns of behaviour or thought in your life that reveal that you are drinking from another well? What is the deeper issue? Where are you looking to drink from and why? How is the living water Jesus gives more satisfying? What does it mean for you to drink from him?
(5) Do you feel you have plateaued in your faith? Why is this? What well could you be turning to? Would you like to grow?
(6) How do we help each other “gaze upon/behold” Jesus so that he becomes bigger and bigger?
(7) What did it take Jesus to give you the living water? On the cross he cries out “I thirst” (John 19.28). Meditate on Psalm 22 and the cosmic thirst Jesus experienced to give you living water.
(8) Pray for each other and us as a church that we might grow as we gaze Jesus - that he would become bigger and bigger and that would bring spiritual transformation in our lives.
ACTION POINT - listen to Andrew Wilson’s talk from Saturday morning of love nations called “a joyful people” - 12 ways to find joy in God (i.e how to drink from him). Write down any ideas that the talk gives you about how to find joy in God and discuss them as a group at your next Mission Group meeting.
Comments
Steve, you can correct me if I am wrong, I can see the point you are clearly trying to make and do not disagree with it…except scratching beneath the surface of this one I wish to make some interesting observations which contradict you where you said:
“For us to experience spiritual change we must not try and change the symptoms, we must change the well from which we drink, *our desires* need to change. If our heart doesn’t change then no amount of discipline will help us see growth.”
You understand the cultural issues with woman at the time; I think that it is more the social consensus at the time that was enslaving her to these patterns of behaviour, yes as you suggest due to the desire of her heart, but I do not think it was the desire of her heart here that was causing problems, rather the socially inflicted mindset by which she was carrying those heart desires out. Jesus must have understood this, it is the very under law lacking grace syndrome we see reiterated throughout the Word.
Here is my key point; I am going to make the assertion that the deepest desire of this woman’s heart was simply to share herself with others.
In which case, Jesus doesn’t *change* the desire of her heart, he *satisfies* it *fully*, as she then goes out into her village community sharing herself and her story with the people. So, not a change of hearts desire but a shift of focus…
Jesus becomes her motivation for sharing herself with others, as a result we see one of the best examples of evangelism in the bible.
Reminds me of where Jesus says “seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and these [your basic needs] will be given to you also”. She kind of gave him the desire of her heart and as a result he does not change it but makes it better for her and himself.
See?
“For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” Rom 7v15
Thanks for being so open T, I get the feeling questions like this are likely to prop up quite a bit in the following weeks. I don’t suppose this is of any practical help, but perhaps you can know you are not alone with some of your thoughts. Impossible, Idealistic (perhaps even Impractical) are words that come to mind often as I think of what “Christianity” offers to the world (and me). We Christians are Utopians, we believe in a “Kingdom of God” that is present as well in the future, yet the world doesn’t seem to be progressing towards anything in any other way than in its knowledge (certainly not morally) it all seems very idealistic.
In the same way on a personal level, we believe we are “dead to the world”, “a new creation”, “with a new heart”, “alive to Christ”. Yet change seems slow, or non-existiant at times. We are not alone though, Paul appears to feel the same way in the passage quoted above. Then he goes on to declare that “it is not I, but sin living within me” and I believe we should do the same.
- Recently Andrew Wilson said to us we are dead, but we do not know it.
- Chris Mason yesterday said you are a child, but you don’t know it.
- and last week Tim Chester told us something like “‘hidden’ isn’t in the vocabulary of churches enough”.
I think we just need to put our faith into action and acknowledge these things appear “hidden”, but are true, I am a dead man to the world, and any misplaced desire or idol that we have are invasions into our new creation lives and don’t originate in us and with our co-operation with the Spirit (Paul then goes on to talk about the Spirit), God will grow the fruit he wants to find in us, and in the process root out bad stuff. Personally i’ve found spiritual change to be slow, I’m impatient and need to remember to walk in step cos its about him not me! At the same time I think if we noticed how much God was working in us, we’d be tempted to use it to glorify ourselves.
Desires don’t always have to oppose God, God made them after all to be fulfilled in some good way. With romance i’ve found that when i’ve been emotionally crushed, openly letting out my frustration at God and throwing my emotions into his fatherly hands has been very rewarding and emotionally fulfilling. In fact, after saying that, perhaps this idealism actually is practical. Hope that last para was more useful practically.
Steve Vaughan
Hi there, it is great to have some comments on the blog recently. I think what Beany has said is HUGELY helpful….thanks mate
Let me try and give a few more thoughts to that MIGHT help. However for more pastoral and personal questions it would be better to talk to your Mission Group Leader or one of those leading on a Sunday.
Firstly, do we have to pursue Jesus if Jesus is pursing us? Yes - it is both/and (like much of the Christian faith) - however, our hope for change is not in what we do, but in what he does in us. For example Philippians 1.6 says “he who began a good work will continue it till completion….” (i.e he is working in us). But then also Philippians 2.12-13 says “work out your salvation…... for it is God who works in you…..” - it is both/and. I work out and God works in me. A great book which gets this point across is by Charles Price “Stop living for Jesus and let him live in and through you.” Another good example of this is John 15 - we are to remain in him if we are to bear good fruit because “apart from him we can do nothing (vs5).
Regarding finding a stronger desire for Jesus impossible/impractical/abstract. Yeah I can understand that and of course the the present and physical realities can seem far more compelling and ‘real’ to us. However that doesn’t mean they are more real. We don’t rely on our five sense - “we live by faith NOT by sight” (2 Corinthians 5.7) and Hebrews 11 is a great chapter on people like Abraham and Moses who by faith followed God (even though following the way of the world would have seemed “more real”). Is it impractical/abstract? - well that is why the Holy Spirit was given us, so that we may know and love Jesus (John 14-16). It is really important to talk this through with Good Christian friends and read Psalms like Pslam 42, 62 + 63 which talk feeling the distance of God.
Regarding the women at the well. I think I would say 3 things. (1) the women’s cultural situation doesn’t change…yet she does….and that is why she is free. It is a heart (not a cultural change). Yes the culture would have been oppressive to women which would have compounded her hearts desires. But ultimately it is her heart that needs changing (See Luke 6.43-35). In fact, in that culture it would not have been the norm for a women to have 5 husbands. (2) Regarding the change/shift her strongest desire. I agree and disagree. I agree because ultimately it was having her desires fully met and satisfied in Jesus that changed her but I disagree in that she also had to change her desires from affection from men to affection from Jesus. So it was both a shift and a change. It is repentance (change) and faith (shift). (3) Finally, she wasn’t sharing herself, she was sharing Christ - “come see a MAN who told me everything I ever did.” Ultimately she is not sharing herself but has become a spring of the Holy Spirit and shares Jesus.
I hope that helps. There is obviously more that can be said, but if you have any more personal questions please do chat to a Christian friend, a Mission Group leader or someone on a Sunday in more detail.
And please do meditate on Ps42, Ps62, Ps63 + John 15 to see how we can (a) Know Christ and (b) Grow in Christ.
T
So if Jesus pursues does that mean we can’t attempt to pursue Jesus? What if that is what we want, we want to desire him above anything. But it stops at that. It seems like a nice idea, to find ultimate satisfaction and love in him that won’t fail us, or hurt us. But impractical… or impossible.
What if the feeling that Jesus pursues us seems abstract while the desire for a person, albeit someone we know is going to perpetuate the destructive cycle we’re in or even someone who is harmful to us, seem so real that we find ourselves thinking about them continuously even though we hate ourselves for it.
How can we transfer this “obsession” and desire, to be around that person all the time and be wanted by them, to Jesus? In practical terms? Because although I may want that, I know it’s a fickle and idealistic desire. If the person I like were to turn around and say they wanted me tomorrow, I would forgive them and go back… and so stay stuck in this cycle where in a few days/weeks/months I’d be crushed and hurting again. Jesus just doesn’t seem as real, I believe he is, I know life is more fulfilling and makes more sense when I’m close to them… But at the end of the day the desire I have for him just is not and seems like cannot be as strong as the desire to be with a person, which can hover over every waking moment and take away all motivation to do or want anything else.