Lamentations 4 - Coping with Grief

Lamentations is a book that deals with life's toughest moments - when the emotions run in all directions

It is a communal lament - the whole community has been shaken (because of war time defeat). Job is a book about individual suffering where his comforters didn’t know what to say to him.

If we are going to be prepared to suffer (and not become paralysed by the grief) as a community we must

(1) Expect Grief. In chapter 4, everyone suffers, even the rich and powerful…...and even the king (the Lord’s anointed - vs20). We mustn’t think that we will avoid suffering (because we live a moral life and follow God). Jesus was perfect. Jesus suffered. If we don’t expect grief it will topple and consume us because we (a) will think we don’t deserve it and (b) will have thought we were immune to it. We must

(2) Express your Grief.. Chapter 4 is honest - brutally honest. God always wants honesty. Babies are starving to death and suffering from dehydration. No hiding or pretending or keeping a ‘brave face.’ Jesus was brutally honest with God in the garden of Gethsemane. Psalm 88 is an important Psalm because (a) it is brutally honest and (b) it ends with the line “the darkness is my closest friend.” WOW! But it is important because that is how some people feel and they shouldn’t feel condemned for it. The bible commends honesty because God knows the situation, he knows how you feel…and he wants you to tell him.  ALSO - the suffering in chapter 4 is so bad because ‘it could have been avoided’ (vs17ff) - they were suffering because of the sin of the leaders. That only compounds the suffering. It could have been avoided and there is a sense of betrayal. Again Jesus at the death of his friend Lazarus (a) wept with sadness and (b) quaked with rage at the destruction and evil of death. And again, Jesus suffered because of our sin - we literally nailed him to the cross. Never succumb to the pressure to hold in the emotions. If you don’t, if you bottle them up, they will eat away at you until they consume you and you are paralysed emotionally and spiritually. Psalm 126 says “those who sow with tears with reap with songs of joy.” We must cry and must be honest with God and express our grief if we are to move on.

(3) Express your Grief with the words God has given you. Lamentations 4 (like the rest of the book) is an Acrostic (each verse starts with the next letter of the Hebrew Alphabet) which gives it s Rythmn. Why did the writer do this (a) so it could be memorised and used when suffering came (b) so it expresses an A-Z of grief - their is a completeness and (c) (3)So it could help you express your grief in such a way that leads you out of it. The Acrostic poem gives dignity to your emotions so that the grief doesn’t run out of control and become unhelpful and lead into a downward spiral of spiritual and emotional depression. Instead it gives you a rhythm which means you don’t end up worse than when you started.

The Psalms and Lamentations are not words TO US but words FOR US. They are not words God speaks to us, they are words he gives to us so that we can speak to him. They are groves that we can run down. Groves that have been well worn by the people of God over the centuries. Groves that are tried and tested. Groves that God gave us so that we can channel and express our emotions in such a way that means (a) we don’t sin and (b) we are led out of the grief. There are words for all emotions! What did Jesus do in his suffering when he experienced hunger in the desert? He ran down the groves God had given him - he quoted scripture…and was led out of the desert. What did Israel do when they experienved hunger and suffering in the desert. They didn’t remember. They didn’t run down the groves and they died in the desert. What did Jesus do in his hour of grief on the cross? He runs down the groves God gave him (Psalm 22.1 + Psalm 31.5). Because he knew the groves would (a) channel his grief and (b) lead him out of his grief. He bled scripture.

If you don’t - you will become hard-hearted and separated in your relationship with God. If you try to protect yourself (by not loving) you will become hard-hearted and have an under-current of anger and bitterness to your life….and you’ll end up in a place where everyone is hard-hearted and forgotten how to love God and others…Hell!

What grove does God gives us in chapter 4 for us to run down?

vs20-22 talk about the anointed king (the Messiah/Christ) who was trapped by the enemies - they couldn’t shelter in his shadow. But God promised that one another would come, he would cry over Jerusalem, he would be striped naked, he would drink the cup of suffering and eternal justice against sin, he would feel the full force of the wrath of God (vs10) and he would cry “it is finished.” But then he would rise 3 days later. His enemies couldn’t beat him.

What does this mean? We have a conquering king we can run to. We can shelter under his shadow. He can be our portion (chapter 3.24). And we can know that one day there will be an end to all suffering - he is preparing a room for us (John 14). And in the mean time, we are more than conquerors in him (Romans 8) - no matter what the suffering.

We must run to him in suffering!

Questions

Read Psalm 48
(1) What strikes you?
(2) What were the people’s expectations of Jerusalem? How did they view Jerusalem?
(3) Why was Jerusalem so important?

Read 2 Kings 25 + Jeremiah 52 (+ Lamentations 4) to the account when Jerusalem fell.
(4) Is it any surprise the writer writes like he does in Lamentations 4? (given Psalm 48)
(5) Why has has it happened? (vs17ff)
(6) How does he feel? How does he express himself?

Application

(7) What does this tell you about how we can speak to God?
(8) What happens if we don’t express our grief to God? What happened to the Israelites in the desert?
(9) How can we make sure we run in the groves God has given us?
(10) What parts of scripture do you turn to for comfort (and why?)

Prayer

(11) Pray through Lamentations 3.21-26. Pray that these verses would be true for you.
(12) Pray for any people and communities that are suffering. Pray that the Holy Spirit would bring comfort and bring people to Jesus.
(13) Thank God for our anointed king who conquered. 

Through the week

(14) Pray for those you know who are suffering. Visit them. Cook them a meal.
(15) Memorise Lamentations 3.21-26 or Psalm 23.