ECCLESIASTES: BRINGING MEANING TO LIFE.  CHAPTER 4

What does the book of Ecclesiastes say about friendships and community? Chapter 4 pulls no punches and offers an interesting twist at the end.

As Christians, the reason we love friendship is that God is a relational God.  Father, Son and Spirit are three but one.  In perfect relationship and unity with one another for eternity.
So - God didn’t make us because he was lonely.  Rather the bible says God made man and women in his image.  Part of this is that we were built for friendship and love. 

The first thing that wasn’t good in the bible was that man was alone. Why wasn’t it good? Because it didn’t show to world how good community was.  Sounds perfect –and it was, but Genesis says that Sin enters into human history when mankind rebels against their friend, God.  Through sinning against God they separated themselves from God and each other.  Results were the anxiety, mistrust, hurt, separation we can all feel in our relationships.  As a result, even though all people want to commit to each other, no matter how hard they try, sin is still at the root of the problem.  Do you agree?

The evidence would suggest society is moving from community to isolation at an alarming rate.  We looked at some statistics from Putnam’s book ‘Bowling Alone’ that support this idea.  So what are the root causes of this sort of life?  Ecclesiastes 4 helps us understand this:

Verses 1-3:  He is saying in verse 2 & 3, the injustice and oppression is so bad in our culture that the dead are better off than the living and the unborn are better off than the dead. Wow! Depressing!
But what about the root causes of isolation?

1) Jealousy:
4 And I saw that all labour and all achievement spring from man’s envy of his neighbour. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
One reason we live detached lives is because we are jealous.  We are lonely because we don’t like being around people who have stuff we don’t have.  Jealous of their lives.  We can’t rejoice with them.  Singles jealous of married?  Married jealous of singles.  We try to outclass each other with our Jobs, salaries, cars, children and phones. You and I know this rivalry wrecks our relationships.
We work and work to do better and gain nothing.

Then again, verse 8 “There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.”  Working hard and being fuelled by envy ultimately gets you nowhere.

2) Laziness:
5 “The fool folds his hands and ruins himself.”
Foolish people do nothing, except fold their arms.  Have you noticed - Apathetic people don’t have friendships? If you can’t be bothered, if you say no too often, people stop calling.

3) Workaholism:
6 “Better one handful with tranquillity than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind.”
This is telling you to live a two handed life. Work in one hand and rest in the other.  If you have just work in both hands – tired, weary, sick, lower quality and health.  But combined with rest, you can fully enjoy God’s provision. 

So if that’s the diagnosis of our lack of community (jealousy, laziness and workaholism)
what is the answer, the solution?

verse 9 “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work”
two are better than one.  It’s called synergy? – produce more than sum of individual parts.  Community is meant to be about synergy – where you serve each other – share skills and stuff. 
At Mosaic - 3 places to belong.
• accountability
• mission groups
• Sundays

i) Friends offer help
10 “If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”
If you got into a car crash or house burnt down, who would help?
Who would visit the hospital, cook some meals, send a card, buy you a coffee and offer to babysit?  Hope a friend would? 

ii) Friends offer strength
11 “Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?”
The imagery here is from travellers who would have to sleep rough.  Share body heat by lying down next to each other. Our application would be about personal weaknesses being strengthened by friends who bring balance.

iii) Friends offer safety
12 “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
The question is – ‘whose got your back?’  We all face trials and tests of our faith. If you have no one to walk through these dark times with you, life will seem utterly impossible.

Summary:
So, society is becoming more and more lonely and isolated because of jealousy, laziness and workaholism.  But God provides a solution through friendship.  Friends that offer help, strength and safety.
But that is only part of the answer. Listen to how the author finishes.
13 “Better a poor but wise youth than an old but foolish king who no longer knows how to take warning. 14 The youth may have come from prison to the kingship, or he may have been born in poverty within his kingdom. 15 I saw that all who lived and walked under the sun followed the youth, the king’s successor. 16 There was no end to all the people who were before them. But those who came later were not pleased with the successor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.”

He is saying:  Imagine a scenario where people are upset with the school their kids go to, or hospital they’ve stayed in or roads they’ve driven over.  Who gets the blame?  Whoever is in charge (king).  If things are really bad, you want someone new to step in. Perhaps some younger blood to take charge.  But when that revolution happens, things don’t really change do they? 

So, what it is saying is that we often blame others for the wrong in the world, but ultimately this is a fruitless exercise.  Why?  Because the real problem lies within.  It’s an Internal problem not an external one.  This is the bibles assessment of mankind. We can’t blame others, for the problem lies within. This means we can’t fix our brokenness and loneliness ourselves and even our friends can’t fix us either because the same problem lies within them. 

This is why Christians believe that Jesus Christ entered our world 2000 years ago.
We believe Jesus is the true friend who heals us and helps us.

Questions:
1) Talk about how you see society becoming more individualistic and isolated.
2) How does that affect you in everyday life?
3) Go through the three reasons for the societal breakdown offered by Eccl 4.
Jealousy, Laziness and Workaholism.  Do any of these things apply to your life?  Talk about them, can you you think of anything else in the bible that explains why society doesn’t work sometimes?
4) Do you rest properly?  What do you like to do?
5) Are you under pressure at work? does this take up more time than it should?
6) In your experience, is two better than one?
7) Friends are meant to help.  What does this look like in your mission group?
8) Friends provide strength.  Ho could you strengthen each other.  Why not take some time in the group to encourage one another.
9) Friends offer safety. How could you do this in your group?
10) Read John 15, what does this passage tell you about friendship with Christ? Can you think of other passages that talk about this?
11) How does knowing Jesus help you become a better friend?
12) How does Jesus heal you from Jealousy, Laziness and Workaholism?