CHRISTIAN SINGLENESS

For most people singleness is like a ship they sail around the world. There are times of pure joy and freedom, where the horizon stretches out before them. The sun is out and there is a gentle breeze, ship cuts through the water effortlessly. Then there are times where the boat seems so small in comparison to the ocean. Where the capable captain now feels very alone, and the vast ocean emphasises the distant from the nearest port. Suddenly their footing can seem unsteady, and storms can hit with startling force and intensity. 1 Corinthians 7 gives us some crucial advice about handling the gift of Singleness.

1) What are some of the main challenges of singleness?
i) Demographic Challenge:
There are not many singles in the UK church, with even less men.  A good man is hard to find!
• 65% of the evangelical congregation are Female
• 35% of the evangelical congregations are single
• 68% of the single evangelical congregation are Female

ii) Social Challenges:
It is often difficult to meet other singles and there is confusion over how to approach the opposite sex.

iii) Cultural Challenges:
If we value Christian marriage, it can devalue singleness in our minds.  People can be left feeling lonely, pressurised and loaded with unhelpful expectations.

iv) Identity Challenges:
Some singles seem to be under the impression that they are not complete or whole until they are married. They apply the creation mandate, the decree in Gen 2 that ‘it is not good for man to be alone’ to themselves, therefore ‘they are not good as they are alone’ – untrue

Others seem to think that God will have them stay single until they have learnt the lessons of singleness. But God’s favour and plans for your married life are not earnt or given by reaching a certain level of maturity.

v) Sexual Challenges:
There are huge expectations and pressure in our culture to have sex outside of marriage. Singles battle with thinking about staying single, staying a virgin, or abstaining from sex for the rest of their lives!

2) Identity:
We can easily let our singleness define us. It becomes the biggest influence on our well being. This means how we are doing with our singleness is the prime determinant of our spiritual wellbeing.  However as Christians we believe our identity has completely changed, reclaimed and rewired by Christ.
First we are Christians - we are ‘in Christ’ - 1 Cor 1:30
Second we are male of female -made in the image of God - Gen 1:27
Third we are single.
the first two identities never change and they are the most important.  However, It is easy to make our marital status the thing that defines us.

3) Marriage or Singleness?
1 Cor 7 affirms both singleness and marriage. But how do you live as a single person?

i) The Gift of Singleness (1 Cor 7:6-9):
Singleness is a good gift, given by God to bless others. This means it is God’s will for you to be single right now. This is a good thing! There is no need to wait till your married to do great things for God.  Don’t put life on hold. Life has started, he hasn’t forgotten you, he hasn’t overlooked you, he isn’t punishing you. He has given you a good gift. While this can be hard to accept, the Christian battle for contentment revolves around believing it to be true.

All of us can abuse this gift. Yes. 
Guys need to man up and take repsonsibility and use singleness as a chance to give ‘undivided devotion’ to God.
Girls need to look to Proverbs 31 as the guide for a godly single women and use singleness as a chance to give ‘undivided devotion’ to God.

ii) The gift of Church Family:

Lastly, God has given us another gift –that of a church family.  In the OT, entrance into God’s family came through physical family membership, but in the NT, entrance to the people of God comes through spiritual rebirth.  Becoming a Christian.  All you singles have been brought in through Christ’s work on the cross. In other words - family isn’t just for families

Loneliness is one of the biggest issues singles face, but there is a difference from being alone to being lonely (ones a situation, the other is an emotion).  Fellowship with God is the solution to loneliness. Companionship with fellow Christians is the cure for aloneness.

Questions:
1) What are some of the challenges you face as a single person?
2) What are the preconceptions that singles make about married people and vice versa?
3) What do love about being single?
4) Why is it difficult to not let your singleness get you down at times?
5) Talk about why marriage is good and why singleness is good
6) do you beleive that singleness is a gift?
7) How can you make the most of this gift? 
8) Is the Holy Spirit convicting you of how you may abuse the gift of singleness?
9) How can your mission group be more of a family?
10) Does anyone need to say sorry to anyone?
11) Does anyone need to forgive people in the group or church?